I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Soap is not a condiment
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
