I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
