Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
