this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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