didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
