Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Randomize
