remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
