Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize