I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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