And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
She is in my trunk
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
