How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
