I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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