Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize