Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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