sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I am one with the molecules
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
