I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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