how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
