I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
