just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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