The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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