Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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