Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
