At least make sure they are 18
Why
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
