Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
