Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
