More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
