been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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