Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms