normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??