would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
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What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
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I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.