so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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