He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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