i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
