Me too!
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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