We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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