Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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