Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
This is my gift to your gina
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
