he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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