idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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