i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
she smelled like a LAN party
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
