I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
