Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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