Tell her she can't have a vagina
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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