I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I want a musical about memes.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
