I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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