woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
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I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
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Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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