is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
