i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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