it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
My vagina is officially offended.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
