Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
