ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
