Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
