is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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