If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
