that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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