I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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