i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
