Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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