Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?