omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.