my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son