Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
