next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
