You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
