Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Randomize
