woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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