i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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