I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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