I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
