The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
